Quiet the Noise

I remember it vividly, the smell of the gym, the sound of the ball as it landed to the ground and the feeling of an exhale that tasted of failure and relief.  There have been numerous times in my life where I have made 100 free throws in a row, which is why it came as such a surprise when I missed when the game was on the line.  Everything about me that day was capable except for that loud voice inside of me telling that it can't be done, that the situation is different, that I should put the ball down and leave.  As the ball bounced off the right side of the rim, before falling in what appeared to be slow motion the ground, I could feel the internal voice reassuring me of my mediocrity.  Brushed under the rug, the thousands of hours spent in practice.  Forgotten, the capability earned through worthwhile choices. 

I remember learning to hate basketball as I spent my time yearning for the game to be pure, like it was in the good ole days.  Sitting and moping like the game of basketball had suddenly changed, when in reality, it was me that had changed.  When I was a kid I played with reckless abandon, free of any fear of missing or failure.  But now life had changed, I was introduced to my biggest competitor, myself, my internal doubt. 


In my opinion one of the greatest dangers facing our society, is the underlying belief that we are born with limitations that cannot be overcome.  The thought that struggle as we may, our lives are predestined to go a certain way.  The belief that people can't change and if they have hurt you once, you are destined to hurt forever.  The belief that excuses matter more than giving it another go, becomes the the very essence of hopelessness of heart and spirit.

Happiness to me can be summed up in three basic belief elements, Belief in Ones Capacity, Belief in Ones Direction and Belief in Ones Eternal Value.  If any one of these is missing, the human vessel quickly becomes a drift at sea in a boat with no sail, rudder or direction, respectively.  I believe that the world is full of these types, drifting, sad, alone and spiritually empty.

Belief in my capacity:  I believe that built within each of us is the ability to do and accomplish difficult things.  But I know all too personally, that for most of us our potential is limited by the lack of faith we have in ourselves.  Somewhere in adolescence we learn to pay way too much attention to the thoughts of others.  We become afraid to fail for worry of the harsh words of another.  We stay close to the center of the tree for fear of falling off the branch.  

My Grandpa is an example that I pull from regularly, I believed that he could do anything.  Not because he could, I witnessed him fall short many times, but rather because he was always willing to wrestle any problem.  He believed in his divine right to believe the best in himself and step forward.  

Failure does not define, it clarifies.  Falling short is not the end unless we say it is.  Thomas Edison in school was thought to be too stupid to invent anything.  He was fired from his first two jobs for being non productive.  And in attempting to make the light bulb he failed over a thousand times.  When asked about his failures he responded, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."  There is no failure in trying, only in giving up.

Edison ended up with over a thousand patents, many of which would come to be useful long after his death.  His ideas were the root of future societal advancements.  The culmination of the ideas of many are the broad base that future generations stand on.  But I can't help but wonder how many current Edisons give up?  How many believe their teacher and discredit themselves?  How many give up with fuel still left in the tank? 

Our belief in ourselves is the sail of our life, it is the only mechanism that we have that can propel us forward.  If we pull it down or take it out of the wind, we sit at the mercy of the sea and never truly get to see all of the amazement that it has to offer the willing.     

Belief in Ones Direction:  To set a course is as easy as it sounds.  I am heading North is a simple statement, with many different outcomes determined by length, degree and issue.  To be off just a degree over a significant distance can lead to drastically different destination outcomes.  Additionally, setting a direction is not just a one time occurrence, it requires constant adjustment.  While the shortest distance between two points is a straight line or as a crow flies.  But anyone who has watched a bird fly can see the evidence of small adjustments made constantly and without fan fare.  

A direction or course should always meet some critical criteria, it should be achievable, it should be difficult and it should honor those who have come before you.  

An achievable course does not mean easy, it simply means that you can see an outcome actually occurring and you have thought out the sacrifice to get there.

A difficult goal is important, like a butterfly that never learns to fly as a result of being helped out of it's cocoon, we are meant to be challenged.  We require pressure in order to soften and become people of substance and merit.

The most important and often forgotten principle is that of honoring those who came before.  In a conceded air people often proclaim that it is their life.  While true, we stand on the peaks of mountains climbed by others.  Our job is to remember that sacrifice through our choices.  To sew another square onto the hodgepodge quilt that is our family.

Belief of Ones Eternal Value:  The older I get the more I have come to see the aged make their peace with an eternal creator.  During life they are the kings and queens for a day, never to be bothered with any sort of divine influence or assistance.  The world is their oyster and they are the prettiest pearl.  But the pearl of great wisdom comes later, when the luster fades and new trends come into fashion.  We are all destined to be forgotten and as time goes, that knowledge becomes a heavy blanket over the fire that once burned within them towards the achievement of things that matter little.

The things of greatest value are not the thoughts of man, but rather the actions of one self in their impossible pursuit of being God like.  Not for vanity, but for the compassion of it, for the feeling that comes through a better understanding of love.  We have all felt it, we all know what it is, but like me, we all too often forsake it in the noise of the moment.

I call these my principles of a happy life and in doing so I ask your forgiveness.  I fall short, I lose my direction, I forgo my faith, I lose the mental battles more often than I care to admit and worse yet, I am speaking in the first person, which is rarely good.  But if I may live as a testament to one thing, it is of getting back up when I fall, looking up when I don't know what to do, and looking forward when I don't know where to go. 

 Sit in the quiet and know that you are you, and that is a great place to start.