Shared Strength

I have lived a life of problems, each equipped with its own level of urgency and anxiety. Some business, some personal, some out of my control and some that are simply none of my business to solve. The problem with problems is that they do not just live in the moment, problems can be in the past as easily as the future or even the present. They typically bring with them change and change is scary, even when it is valuable change. Unfortunately, we are not automobiles with a sensor to inform us that we have a problem and a manual to show us the remedy. Instead, we are left to an unscripted next move, like playing chess against some sort of invisible grand master. To wait would be best, I could ponder, review and execute. But the urgency weighs heavy, the time to act must surely be now and I execute quickly. Perhaps it is on the mark, but history proves contrary, and each quick mark is followed by a new problem to solve and another pound of urgency to carry. Slowly and without ...

 I can feel the energy building, the inertia is a force all it's own.  I spent years developing it through push and prod.  To ride that wave of energy to a place that would be the envy of the masses.  But to go there means to change fundamentally.  To forgo the things that are real, and accumulate the fake.  A dream that I always endeavored towards for some reason now seems a curse.  I have seen the ending and it now frightens me.  I have seen the legions lost to their own futile quest for glory, vanity and praise.  Work and charge forth as the shackles grow tighter, drink of the cup of praise until character is diminished.  To paint the meek and balanced as lesser than and depict false warranties of happiness and self esteem.  But at night, when the room grows dark and we are all naked versions of ourselves, the voice grows loud and ever reminds, you will never be enough.  So each new day, a new mistake in the quest to satisfy...

If If for a moment I can dare to dream Of a life worthy of such esteem.   A life of privilege and ease  Free to come and go as I please.   To remove the struggle and the strife And free my perfect life.   What I would do and what I would say If my world was done my way.   Although my dream is big and bright  I ponder if it be right.   To remove the strife Is to dull a knife.   The learning of the great divine  Soon lost through comfort and time.   The touch of love, the pride of success Would soon become an onerous test.   The would I and could I  And the if only I could try.  To live simply and without fare  Would be a dream if I could dare.   But to leave the privilege and divine  Is something I would ponder with time.   Safe to stay the course and hold the rail  Afraid that I may fail.   To be laughed at as a great fraud  For leavi...

I remember it vividly, the smell of the gym, the sound of the ball as it landed to the ground and the feeling of an exhale that tasted of failure and relief.  There have been numerous times in my life where I have made 100 free throws in a row, which is why it came as such a surprise when I missed when the game was on the line.  Everything about me that day was capable except for that loud voice inside of me telling that it can't be done, that the situation is different, that I should put the ball down and leave.  As the ball bounced off the right side of the rim, before falling in what appeared to be slow motion the ground, I could feel the internal voice reassuring me of my mediocrity.  Brushed under the rug, the thousands of hours spent in practice.  Forgotten, the capability earned through worthwhile choices.  I remember learning to hate basketball as I spent my time yearning for the game to be pure, like it was in the good ole days.  Sitting and...

The value of a Life is often assigned to the material value of one’s accumulated collection.   The material far outweighs the spiritual, intellectual or character of a being.   We weigh the gravity of a loss of life by the height of a person’s accomplishment rather than the value of their life’s works.   When one stops to think, does the value of an actor creating cinematic joy for a fleeting moment in time and a truck driver delivering food to a grocery store for an entire career stack up the same?   One feeds you for a moment in time, while the other is responsible for your literal daily bread.   Does the playing of a sport bring more value to a society than the therapist who spends their life in the effort of mending fences and broken hearts?   In this world, our value is based on jealously, we elevate those which we most want to be like.   We do so in the breath of admiration and hatred.   Is there really much difference between the person who...

Man cannot outrun the rain Despite the desire to flee And ever postpone the pain If for a moment I can think of me Man cannot outrun the rain Despite the desire to hide And ever postpone the pain To wait about a changing tide When clouds churn in near view And bring within your soul fear What becomes of the proud few Who choose this day not to veer? Forgoing the worry of what will And welcome instead her furry Choosing their fate to fulfill Hard written lines of life's story Man cannot outrun the rain But in time her tempest past Leaving behind a tested chain Each link a legacy to last Nicholas Campos - 2013 There is one word that has followed just about every loss or personal tragedy that a person has faced.  The word is why, and it is often followed by me or now.  It is spoken as a plea to the invisible hand that shifts the forces of nature against us.  The breeze that comes up out of nowhere and sends the plates we...