Shared Strength

The wind in my hair with the problems of my world fading in the rear view mirror.  Stepping ever fully on the gas pedal, the freedom of this act was tantalizing.  Perhaps, just maybe, I could keep driving forever, through Canada and up into the north to pet a reindeer and gaze at the desolate tundra.  As Bellingham passed I began to ponder a life as a vagabond, a life free of work and responsibility.  From my scope I deserved it, I was an over worked, ladder climbing, lonely individual who just topped it all off with the recent news of cancer.  But as the miles clicked away a song came on the radio that changed my tune.  A song that I had forgotten about until this morning when Erin was dancing while listening to some retro Salt-N-Pepa.  No, it was not a Salt-N-Pepa song, just put that in to embarrass Erin, it was the next song on her playlist.  It was a Sister Hazel song that reminded me of the song that played on the radio that day titled, ...

Where is the wisdom that is lost in knowledge?  Where is the knowledge that is lost in information?  CS Lewis wrote these words and they are as true today as they were then.  In a world so filled with information available to us at breakneck pace it is hard to imagine living a day where we were cutoff from it.  In a world where technology so freely gives us the tantalizing, the lucrative, the creative and the answers, I ask, where is the work?  One of my earliest memories of my own Father is being in the front yard while he and my uncle worked on a stock car that they were tuning up for the weekend race.  Meticulously he worked to achieve the best balance, if successful it meant a chance for the win, if not, it meant a tow home and trip back to the drawing board.  This was a simple hobby, but it was clear to me even as a child that this was an example of a man's quest for wisdom.  To know of something through his...

Well, I am excited to be feeling completely normal again. I have found myself increasing my desire to be healthy over the past couple months and have decided to start on a new quest. I am going to call it a quest for the the mountain top. You see I have learned a valuable lesson over the past 9 months and that is that our bodies have an incredible ability to heal themselves if we are willing to lend a hand. So I am on an effort to get back to climbing shape and I will work over this winter to be ready to hike up Mt Adams again this summer as well as one more mountain to be named later. I will probably make a bit of a charity hike out of it to do something nice for Providence Oncology. I am thankful for Mt Adams because most of my strength to fight cancer came from this adventure. I learned the ability to overcome comes one step at a time. It is a lesson that I probably would have overlooked had I not had cancer this year, but now I get to keep it and pass it along to anyone wh...

Yesterday I was driving the family to Church on a sunny Sunday when my phone rings. I answer it and hear this is Dr Bernstein, my mind quickly went between, "must be good news" all the way to "oh no I must be dying." Because, why in the world would a Doctor call me on a Sunday, turns out he is just a really nice guy who thought I could use some good news a little early. So my lymph nodes have gone back to normal, so I have no more lymphoma, I am just your regular run of the mill bald 27 year old now. It feels great to be on the receiving end of a phone call like this!! But I can't help but feel humbled by all of the folks who I met during this journey who wait for this call that may never come. I am thankful for my time with them and will always pray for them and visit. I am also quite thankful for all of you folks for sending your kind regards and for working right along with me...even though I have a lot to be thankful for, I would have to say that I ow...

I have been remiss in updating this blog to inform everyone of my completion. I don't exactly know why, I guess part of it was because I did not want it to end...Ok, that was a joke, and a bad one :) It is most likely because of how busy I have been. The week of my final treatment I was on a plane to Oakland to visit a customer, I followed that up with a Sunday-Friday trip to Dallas. I returned Friday night at 9pm and was on a plane to Spokane the next morning at 6am for the weekend. So needless to say I have tried to get back into the swing of things since the treatments ended. The Doctor said I should take time to rest, but I can't help but think about Tuesdays with Morry when he says, when you are in bed you are dead. It just sort of radiates in my mind and keeps me moving forward...But I do not plan on moving at a pace quite as fast as the past two weeks, but I do plan on living on purpose. Health: I am still dealing with a sort of jet lag feeling, I think it is be...

The second cycle of treatment is officially over, but not without trial. These drugs choose not to go easy into the night. On Monday I received a Bleo treatment, which is a short 30 minute iv. Sadly, Bleo, myself and the Nuelasta medication that they gave me the week prior do not live in harmony when mixed. This has now happened twice, both times were the third week of the cycle. So what happens you are probably wondering, well, I get home after the treatment feeling fine, then after about an hour I start to feel chilly. This chill quickly turns into all out freezing to the point that I can't stop shaking. It forces me to cover up with about 20 blankets to get warm. This lasts for about two hours, then I get to enjoy a temperature of about 104. But it is usually about this time that I can start taking fluids again. After about two more hours the fever subsides and I slowly heal through the evening. The closest thing I can describe it to is a tsunami, because it hits har...

What a beautiful week this has been, it is sunny warm and I am feeling good. I have been slow to write because I have lacked significant inspiration. Turns out that for being such an optimist I must actually find my writing in the depths of personal anguish and times of trials. But I am feeling good and that is worth writing about, so I am just going to do it. A couple of things worth being excited about this week. A) Love is in the air: My good friends Kristen and Eli have decided to get engaged and that is a good thing. Every once in a while you meet two people that fit and they are two of those people for me. B) Countdown of treatment stands at T-Minus 7 days and counting, down from 21 when I started. I have come to fully appreciate my mind and body when it functions properly, I have a new respect for it and don't think I am going to let too many goods days get away from me in the future. C) 9-11 was today: This does not make me feel good, in fact, it is a day that b...

We are now cruising through week number 4 on our journey and this is one of the big ones for me. It has gone suprisingly well. But, I am getting ahead of myself, week 3 finished up last week and I felt great. By the end of Sunday evening I was back to myself, despite the significant loss of hair. My hair started to fall out on Tuesday while I was in the shower, it was a very unique experience for me. By Thursday it was all over my pillow, but due to my fine hair it was hard to notice that it was thinning. By Friday I shaved it down to the lowest level on the clipper set. This made the itchiness increase so Erin took the razor to my cranium. I have been told that I have a rather good shaped head, which is suprising because when I had hair and felt up there it always seemed to be full of bumps and crevasses. That being said, it still is in need of a little sun, but I can't blame my scalp for being pale I have kept it covered for 27 years. Outside of that I went and played ...

Well, week two is in the books and I am starting to feel a bit more like myself and I hope that each of you are feeling better as well. Week two and three of each cycle only require a Monday treatment, so my body can use the rest of the time to heal and prepare for the new cycle. I have noticed and most importantly Erin has noticed that I am getting back to myself. Erin and I like taking walks around the neighborhood and normally I tend to push the pace, she calls it long legs and I call it impeccible physical fitness and a heart like Seabiscuit. This has been a debate for quite a while and most people tend to agree with her take on the subject. This week has been a change of pace for us, our walks around the neighborhood are starting to mimic being lead around the grocery store by my Mom when I was a child. So my point is that obviously the long legs were not the reason for me prior pace...The logic makes sense to me...case closed :) But in all serious, week two was better than I ant...

Well, my first week is in the book and that I thought I would take a little time to write up my findings and experiences over the past week and close out this message with a little thought that I hope will help you in your nine week journey with me...I also have a few pictures but I will have to have my tech master Erin show me how to put them on the ways she does on our other blog. Treatment plan: My treatment regime is described as tough by my Oncologists. The drugs themselves are not any worst but the way it is administered is meant to kill the cancer cells without mercy. So my first week of treatment consisted of 5 days of 5+ hour infusions. They start out with a slow drip of Saline to ensure that I am properly hydrated then they add the following in order: Dexamethazone: Anti Nausea Bleomycin: Chemotherapy drug 1 (Given every monday) Cystplatin: Chemotherapy drug 2 (Daily Weeks 1,3,6) Another bag of Saline Etoposide: Chemotherapy drug 3 (Daily Weeks 1,3,6) The time ...