Golf
The second cycle of treatment is officially over, but not without trial. These drugs choose not to go easy into the night. On Monday I received a Bleo treatment, which is a short 30 minute iv. Sadly, Bleo, myself and the Nuelasta medication that they gave me the week prior do not live in harmony when mixed. This has now happened twice, both times were the third week of the cycle. So what happens you are probably wondering, well, I get home after the treatment feeling fine, then after about an hour I start to feel chilly. This chill quickly turns into all out freezing to the point that I can't stop shaking. It forces me to cover up with about 20 blankets to get warm. This lasts for about two hours, then I get to enjoy a temperature of about 104. But it is usually about this time that I can start taking fluids again. After about two more hours the fever subsides and I slowly heal through the evening. The closest thing I can describe it to is a tsunami, because it hits hard, qhick and without warning.
Outside of the above inconvenince I had a pretty good week. It has been good to stay busy. And as you can see by the title of this entry I am going to play golf tomorrow which is very exciting. I can't hit the ball as far as I could a couple of months ago, but I feel that this is temporary. I do love golf, it is like a long walk through the wilderness where you get to hit things with a club...And you don't even have to hit well to have fun, a lesson learned from my Dad a long time ago.
Oh, I almost forgot. I am now very excited to be in the ownership of my first vehicle. It is a 1981 Ford F-100 that I had when I was 16. It had been sitting for the past three years, so it needed some TLC to get it back in fighting shape. It has been fun to tool around on this truck because it is a piece of my personal history and it is kind of symbolic to me. You see, right now probably more than ever before I am finding joy in the small victories in making things better. The effort and success in completing a project on this truck to me is symbolic of my step by step journey back to full health. One thing that I have learned from this treatment process is to live in the present, at first I crossed off days and looked to the future only to find a mountain of days remaining...This lead to feelings of anger and doubt. Then as I made my way through treatment I started to think about the past, oh look at what I have accomplished only to find myself overwhelmed by what is left. I have now found my sweetspot, TODAY, it is all I need to think about. I can look back at the road behind me and learn from mistakes and enjoy victories and I can look to the future to plan for what is to come, but I have to live in today. Which means I have freed my mind of the worry of the unknown and the known that will surely come on Monday when my big week starts and focussed that energy fully and completely into living today. This may not make a lot of sense, and that will be the fault of the writer, but it has brought me a lot of clarity and I hope to continue these lessons throughout my life.
So we need a motivation tale for the week. Let me think......Ok I got something. I keep a pile of rocks on my desk that I found while walking around a seldom visited glacier in Yakutat, Alaska. They are all different sizes, shapes and colors as each has bee molded differently over thousands of years by this massive glacier. While they are unique in attributes they are alike in their beauty. While sitting alongside this giant glacial lake I could not help but reflect on my own refining in life. Spiritually I am a man of faith and know that if God is willing to take thousands of years to refine mud, soil and sediment into a beautiful rock for me to find along my path, I can be certain that he cares about my personal refinement. So the motivation lies in the small things today, a gentle breeze, a childs laugh or just a small rock reminds us that we are not without value in this world. We all have a path in this world and it is ours to choose, but as we walk may we all choose to take time for the small things meant to slow us down and heal our spirits. Yet another paragraph that may not make sense as a result of the writer :) May you all have a wonderful week of small joys.
Outside of the above inconvenince I had a pretty good week. It has been good to stay busy. And as you can see by the title of this entry I am going to play golf tomorrow which is very exciting. I can't hit the ball as far as I could a couple of months ago, but I feel that this is temporary. I do love golf, it is like a long walk through the wilderness where you get to hit things with a club...And you don't even have to hit well to have fun, a lesson learned from my Dad a long time ago.
Oh, I almost forgot. I am now very excited to be in the ownership of my first vehicle. It is a 1981 Ford F-100 that I had when I was 16. It had been sitting for the past three years, so it needed some TLC to get it back in fighting shape. It has been fun to tool around on this truck because it is a piece of my personal history and it is kind of symbolic to me. You see, right now probably more than ever before I am finding joy in the small victories in making things better. The effort and success in completing a project on this truck to me is symbolic of my step by step journey back to full health. One thing that I have learned from this treatment process is to live in the present, at first I crossed off days and looked to the future only to find a mountain of days remaining...This lead to feelings of anger and doubt. Then as I made my way through treatment I started to think about the past, oh look at what I have accomplished only to find myself overwhelmed by what is left. I have now found my sweetspot, TODAY, it is all I need to think about. I can look back at the road behind me and learn from mistakes and enjoy victories and I can look to the future to plan for what is to come, but I have to live in today. Which means I have freed my mind of the worry of the unknown and the known that will surely come on Monday when my big week starts and focussed that energy fully and completely into living today. This may not make a lot of sense, and that will be the fault of the writer, but it has brought me a lot of clarity and I hope to continue these lessons throughout my life.
So we need a motivation tale for the week. Let me think......Ok I got something. I keep a pile of rocks on my desk that I found while walking around a seldom visited glacier in Yakutat, Alaska. They are all different sizes, shapes and colors as each has bee molded differently over thousands of years by this massive glacier. While they are unique in attributes they are alike in their beauty. While sitting alongside this giant glacial lake I could not help but reflect on my own refining in life. Spiritually I am a man of faith and know that if God is willing to take thousands of years to refine mud, soil and sediment into a beautiful rock for me to find along my path, I can be certain that he cares about my personal refinement. So the motivation lies in the small things today, a gentle breeze, a childs laugh or just a small rock reminds us that we are not without value in this world. We all have a path in this world and it is ours to choose, but as we walk may we all choose to take time for the small things meant to slow us down and heal our spirits. Yet another paragraph that may not make sense as a result of the writer :) May you all have a wonderful week of small joys.
I love that you refer to sickness as an "inconvience." Such a pleasant way to word it.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up Nick, and good luck with golf tomorrow!
You continue to amaze me, you make your sickness sound like another day in the life of Nick, but so many of us would see it as an oh my gosh, I don't know if I can handle that. I hope and pray that you continue with your great attitude and you have again reminded us how precious life is and that we need to live with the attitude that you hold. Thank you again for your great posts, you inspire me and remind me to live life. Love you and pray for you daily. Nadean
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